The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel: Susie’s 10 Funniest Lines

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Season 4 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel dropped on Amazon Prime in February 2022 and there’s a lot to love about the series. From the music, costumes, and set design to the quick-witted characters, stand-up acts, and how he so easily draws audiences to a specific time and place in history, fans don’t seem to have enough.

Related: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Main Characters Ranked By Sympathy

One character who seems to shine every season, delivering comic line after comic line, is talent manager Susie Myerson (Alex Borstein). His dialogue is often vulgar and hard-hitting, yet truthful. Although she lacks tact, she’s the kind of character who says what everyone thinks and isn’t ashamed to voice her opinion. Susie puts the “kick” in “sidekick”.

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When she befriends two gangsters

“This is the best kidnapping I’ve ever had. I’m serious here.”


In Season 2 Episode 1, Susie is kidnapped by a couple of gangsters who plan to beat her up for angering their boss in an earlier episode. They end up befriending the fact that they are all from the same neighborhood and share a wholesome dinner prepared by one of the mobster’s wives.

This line is one of his funniest in that it shows his true character. No matter how dire and upsetting the circumstances, Susie can always find the humor in anything. She may have been abducted against her will, but she takes a bite of the sandwich they make for her and she is able to see the bright spot. The best part is how these three continue to have a loving friendship throughout the series.


When Midge invites her to a fancy party

“I’m just trying to figure out the best way to hide a lobster under my hat.”


One of the things many fans can relate to is marveling at Midge’s wealth. All her life, Midge has enjoyed Catskills vacations, fancy dinners, live shows, prestigious schools — basically the opposite kind of life that Susie lived.

None of this privilege is lost on Susie when she becomes Midge’s manager. This hilarious line paints a good picture of economy class and shows that even if Susie attends a party she doesn’t care about, she still can’t turn down a good lobster.

The first time she gets emotional

“Shit, it’s like water on my face!”


Susie holding a snack and talking to someone

In season one, while Midge and Susie are having lunch at the Stage Deli, Susie has a true mentoring moment where she sees Midge’s talent and potential and breaks down in tears.


Susie doesn’t often show emotion and because of that, when she does, it really resonates. While also funny, this line leaves fans with the reassurance that even the toughest characters can cry. Sometimes they just aren’t used to it.

Come to the rescue of Midge

“You’re threatening me, I’ll hit your fake tits so hard your real tits will feel it. Count on it!”


This quote from season 2 comes in retaliation against legendary comedian, Sophie Lennon, who criticized Midge for making fun of Sophie in her act.

Related: 10 Things To Remember Before Watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season 4

It’s times like these that audiences see Susie protecting Midge and her potential, and they love Susie for it. With this line, she is not just an opportunist. She’s not just in this gig for the potential money. She is also a manager and friend who cares. Her defensiveness towards Midge shows that at the end of the day, she wants Midge to get the credit she deserves.


Life is not always a peach

“I stay here, and I sweat, and I smell like a bum, and I’m miserable, and I want to kill people. And I do this until it gets cold.”


In season 2, Midge tells Susie that she will be spending part of her summer in the Catskills, as it is a family tradition. Susie responds with this caustic but realistic comment on her summer experience in New York.

What you see is what you get with Susie. She certainly doesn’t sugarcoat anything, but neither does she pretend to be someone other than her, who talks tough and gives herself to you. Fans feel like this is how she’s always spent summers in town, reminding them that she’s the most human or up-close character, one who leans into the pains and normalities of life. life.


Even his accolades are funny

“I mean, look at you, it’s like a dollop of whipped cream has sprouted a head.”


At their usual hangout, the Stage Deli, Midge and Susie discuss their comedic plans moving forward. This line supports a point that Susie has about half the people in the company fearing and the other half simply caring about Midge.

Even when she kind of pays a compliment, she can’t help but turn it into a joke. While Susie’s humor may come from the backseat, her character oozes comedy almost the same way Midge does.

One night not at the Roxbury

“I’m going to the pharmacy to see if there’s anyone there who can help me more than you. Like a blind, dumb baby with no arms.”


In season 2 of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, after a terrible night’s sleep in a seedy motel, Midge and Susie have lunch in a restaurant. There, Susie discovers a series of red bumps on the side of her face which she believes are due to the night spent at the motel. Susie delivers this line after rummaging through Midge’s makeup rack for a rash solution that turns out to be empty.

It’s Susie’s way of saying “thank you so much for your help” with a hint of sarcasm. But she could never say that because it wouldn’t be the sharp, colorful tongue Susie fans have come to know and love.

Negotiate for a concert

“Can you relax? You worry like this, you’re going to take 10 years off your life. And from the looks of it, you only have about five years left to begin with.”


In “Midnight at the Concord”, Susie says this to event space owner Melvin when he takes issue with the fact that Midge looks nothing like the photo she was promised. Susie tries to level with him in her Susie way by telling him to calm down and trust Midge’s talent as a comedian.

Related: 10 Hidden Details About Mrs. Maisel’s Wonderful Costumes You Never Noticed

Fans have come to know and love Susie for her candor, and while her way of speaking is almost never warm and friendly, that’s how she keeps things going. She is frank but she delivers. More often than not, it’s her self-confidence that makes her an excellent manager.

When in Florida

“Could you unteach me to swim so I can drown?”


In season 3, in the middle of a tour with Shy Baldwin, Susie and Midge find themselves soaking up the sun in Florida. While sunbathing, Midge learns that Susie can’t swim. The following scene is a hilarious caricature of a grown woman learning to swim who is deeply terrified.

At this point in the series, audiences are still rooting for Susie, who is portrayed as the quintessential underdog. His learning to swim, although a small side plot, is treated no differently. She’s successfully learning to swim, so when she undermines her accomplishment in her unique way of sarcasm and hilarity, it’s nothing short of tasty.


Realize how different they are

“I’ve been running this thing up and down for an hour waiting for you to float here on your goddamn horse Icarus. You have a pretty vague sense of time, ma’am.”


At the start of Season 1, Susie always reverts to the kind of life that Midge lives. When Midge invites her to a co-worker’s party, Susie is less thrilled but shows up anyway.

With this line, the audience feels like Susie has rarely, if ever, taken an elevator before. Midge and Susie couldn’t be more opposite and this line paints it perfectly. This hilarious quote and their unfolding storylines make the audience feel like they’re each other’s yin to yang.

Next: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel’s Funniest Characters, Ranked

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